I can never sit still, for I am a free spirit. And I go wherever and whenever the wind blows me...

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To Go Or Not To Go

January 20, 2009

To go or not to go to Bali and Jakarta? This is one of the many things  occupying my mind lately. I first planned to visit my friend Lora in Jakarta last year. I booked my flights  just before I got the virtual assistant job. So when I accepted the job offer, I had no other choice but to have those flights refunded unless I let go of that very lucrative opportunity. Now that I am more flexible with my time and with Cebu Pacific’s zero air fare promo (which will end on Jan. 22), it seems more reasonable to finally go. The only catch is, I’d have to go alone coz Peter has work. The last time I traveled all by myself was when I went to Boracay and stayed there for one week during the Wind Surfing and Kite Surfing Funboard Cup. Though I had a different kind of fun meeting all kinds of people from all over the world, I got depressed after a few days and couldn’t wait to go home. Add to that the fact that I have this fear of flying. I don’t look it and it doesn’t show, but it’s always there (before and during the flight). So, traveling to Jakarta and Bali without Peter holding my hand the whole time is not a situation I am looking forward to. Also, lately, whenever I turn on the TV or watch DVD/TV series or surf the net, I always see plane crashes. Moreover, it doesn’t help  that I have this gut feeling that something bad is going to happen to Indonesia this summer. It’s most probably brought about by this paranoia I’m feeling as of late. I feel so pressured coz I only have two more days to decide and avail of Cebu Pacific’s promo. Lora and Jowi (my friends in Jakarta) have been very helpful with arranging the itinerary and my accommodation. A part of me is telling me NOT to go. Add to that the fact that with the global financial crisis, this may not be the best time to splurge on travels (to think that I’ve been planning to do a lot of that this summer, target destinations include Donsol for whale watching, Siargao for surfing, Caramoan, Macau and the usual hot spots: Boracay, Tagaytay, Batangas, La Union and Zambales)  But another part of me is also saying that this may be the best time to go there, spend time with my gfs, be independent of Peter and to not let fear and paranoia paralyze and prevent me from spreading my wings and doing what I love –  travel.   I know we spent a lot with Peter’s hospitalization, but this money I plan to use is MY money, not OUR money. Furthermore, I have been trying to make sense  of my recent moods and thoughts  regarding this serious business venture I have in mind which would need me to stay put. Oh God, I’m at a stalemate. Both my heart and mind are 50-50 on this decision. Halpz! 

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