It’s All Small Stuff

One of the things I learned back in college, during those days when I used to ace my Philo and Theo classes, was to basically not sweat the small stuff. To think that these exact words did not even come from those great minds that we studied back then. On the contrary,  the closest school of thought I could remember,  that is slightly similar to this way of thinking, was that of Albert Camus — “Life is absurd and then you die”. I guess, that’s how pessimists can put it (I’m not saying though that Camus is one…  he actually  brought about a discussion on how we can put meaning into our lives considering that we’ll all die in the end anyway) but for someone like me, who always tries her best to see the positive side of things, I try to not sweat the small stuff. After all, everything is small stuff.  So when I received a text message from my brother that my mom was paralyzed, you can just imagine how gravely this principle of mine was challenged.  I tried to calm down, praying to all the angels and saints that whatever it was, it’s not as bad as it seemed in the text message and immediately sought Peter’s help (who was then not at home with me). I called my brother’s and dad’s numbers but no one was picking up. Peter, having a caregiver background, quickly responded and the rest was just a blur. Anyway, I don’t want to dwell on the details. The Secret taught me to ignore, as much as possible, any reference to bad feelings and situations. So suffice it to say that my mom’s condition is more stable now.  We supported her wishes of staying in her office dorm, for 1 to 2 weeks, (she was actually thinking of staying there for a month) which has a nearby clinic that can take care of her in case of an emergency but most importantly, for her to avoid being stressed out by her own negative paradigm at home. I couldn’t  really blame her. My sister and I left our home in San Mateo Rizal a long time ago for the same stressful reasons. But right now, my brother has greatly improved and my dad is really doing well and has long ago  eased up on his vices. But I guess, my Mom’s trauma is just so deeply rooted that even the littlest of gestures can trigger negative emotions, high blood pressure and even a minor heart attack.  Anyway, I think Peter and I handled the situation well. It’s been draining, yes, but it’s not the end of the world. I am still thankful that we are strong enough to support  them emotionally, physically, & financially. And most importantly, we acknowledge the fact  that we can also be weakened and made vulnerable , thus, the need to take care of ourselves. So when the family situation was taken care of, Peter and I took care of ourselves. This time, we simply spent time at home the rest of the weekend. We talked, watched old flicks, played Wii, jammed and basically de-stressed. After all, we are only human. We get affected too even if we don’t really show much. And it’s nice to have a quiet and cozy house and a very kind and  understandinrg spouse to come home to. It’s all small stuff anyway, so we try not to sweat it.

On the other hand, we sweated it out a different way. As soon as we came back home,  Peter and I beat all our opponents in Spider Man then we beat each other up playing boxing. It was fun! What an exercise! It released the happy hormones (endorphins) and I somehow felt better.

  De-stressing with our new Wii

I also got to tinker with our Nikki a bit. I promise that the next time I get a chance, I should really read  its guidebook so I can take better pictures and play with its manual settings.

Playing with Nikki…

Then, I further released some pent up emotions by playing with our drums.  After learning a couple of basic drum beats, I attempted to apply it to Regine Velasquez’s song, YOU MADE ME STRONGER. Unfortunately, I still don’t know how to do the fills (before I reach that chapter, I still have to learn a couple more off beat snare/hi-hat/bass drum variations, then study the anatomy of a song, practice how to read notes then I can learn the fills… Whew!) This reminds me, I shouldn’t take shortcuts in learning AND to practice, practice,  and practice! Anyway, there’s no harm in trying for the sake of fun and emotional catharsis. Hehehe.

Anyway,  I was also overfatigued from everything  that I overslept yesterday (Sunday). And the moment I woke up, I realized that one of the things that can actually restore my happiness to full blast status was to decorate the house for Halloween and to plan for our upcoming MASQUERADE POTLUCK HALLOWiiN HOUSE PARTY!!!!  Everything is small stuff so why not do the things that can make us happy? It’s so easy, right? Do the things that make you happy! So that’s what we did.

Speaking of Halloween, I’m not sure if my bestfriends know the ranking of may favorite seasons of the year. I asked Peter about this two weeks ago and even he didn’t get the answer right. There are three major seasons that I have loved and celebrated ever since I was a kid. And their rank in my book has never changed:

#1 - Halloween

#2 - Christmas

#3 - Summer

I am such a kid at heart! I remember before, as early as  an 8 year old little girl,   I was already throwing parties at home with my neighbors & friends during these times of the year.  And it has never changed. Everything about the Halloween season  fascinates me. The spookier the decors,  the more exciting activities to share, the better.  Maybe this is why even in my most skimpy outfits, the child in me exudes more  than my being a sex goddess. Just like how one of Peter’s bestfriends, Mark, described me to be —  a walking contradiction.  Anyway, I digress. 

We’ve always managed to celebrate Halloween as a couple. If we’re not party hopping around town wearing our costumes and all, we’d be at home throwing parties with aura/tarot card/rune stones/palm reading, horror flick showing, & quija board playing to boot.  But this year, another activity is added to the list — Wii partying!!! Yay!!!

We’ve pretty much decorated the house. I changed my mind in making the house look  very spooky because my heart is not as strong as before (blame it on all the caffeine I’ve ingested working on the graveyard shift.) I have also decided to NOT make our bedroom (which is also my office) scary like last year. The rest of the house is still spooky, but more festive this time. Besides, our helper has already commented that she can’t really work well around the house if there’s a ghostly creature lurking in every corner. But who knows? I might just stop drinking coffee and tea and change my mind about the decors. There are still a couple of scary life-size monsters I want to buy from Toy Kingdom. We’ll see. Oh, and I still have yet to  relearn how to read Tarot cards, do Palm Reading and make hula Tony Perez style. And we still have to decide which scary flick we will show. The movie, SUKOB, has already done its job of scaring our guests for the past two years. I wonder which movie  can top that on the most scary flick list this time? Hmmm. If none, maybe we can just play Wii all night! Hehehehe. 

Speaking of movies, Peter and I went out Sunday night hoping to have a nice dinner  date somewhere and catch a movie.  But no thanks to my body clock, most restos were already closed and the  movie we want to see has already  started its last full show. So we went to TGIF and tried their new Mac & Cheese instead. We also ordered the new Chicken  Cutlets and Chicken & Shrimp Pasta. But the ambience of the place did not feel right and even with few customers, it took a long while for them to serve our food. So after gorging on the  cubed mac and cheese,  we had the rest of our orders taken out. For some reason,  I wondered why we went out in the first place when it’s just so nice to stay at home. Everything we needed  was right here! Peter’s pasta dishes and salad mixes are way better than those of Friday’s, I can have coffee and desserts any time I want to, the ambience of our house is more festive and is also “bar-like”. We have a couple of nice movies we can watch, we can play Wii if we want to or jam in the lanai if we feel like it,  and I can make whatever alcoholic drink I want. Cosmos? Margaritas? Appletinis? I can make all these drinks. Or simply have a brandy neat, or a shot of vodka or a glass of beer. Everything is right here. I guess I just sort of got spooked from all the house decors that I needed a change of  scenery. But the moment we stepped into ATC, I missed our house already. Anyway, I don’t wanna sweat it. I’m just saying…

Cubed Mac & Cheese

Chicken Cutlet

Chicken & Shrimp Pasta

Peter’s very own Coffee Crumble ice cream preparation and Christmas Coffee concoction

Anyway, back to movies…our  friend (from GSIS) Odhe, who celebrted his birthday last Oct. 4 (Happy Birthday bro!), sent us two vcds which according to him have been life changing — POINT BREAK (starring Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze) and  INTO THE WILD (starring Emil Hirsch). Thank so much bro! You’re really sweet!

Peter and I experienced the ultimate rush in POINT BREAK. It’s about this rookie cop (played by Keanu Reeves) who went undercover in the maverick world of surfing, convinced that the bank robbers  his boss has been trying to track for the longest time are surfers. Peter, Odhe and I, being surfers ourselves (beginner level for two years now, hehehe), really found this movie captivating. It’s not a “feel good” movie though. It’s the type of movie that will make you curse (P@&%ng i@!!!) before the closing billboard. Same thing with INTO THE WILD. The lead character played by Emile Hirsch is such a challenging one! Here he is, a fresh college graduate being offered a scholarship into Harvard Law School and off he went renouncing his old life and all the material possession that went with it and ventured into the wild. His life experiences, particularly  his travels, and the wisdom he has gotten from all his exciting and life changing  adventures  probably beat those who have lived to be a hundred years gold. But still, it ended in his young death. At least he died happy, realizing that happiness is only real when shared.  What a heavy feeling. Another movie that will make you utter cuss words repeatedly until the end of the closing billboard.  Hehehe. The movie has somehow convinced me for sure that Peter and I can never have kids. Because most likely, we’ll have a smart one and if  he/she turns out too smart like this guy in the movie, who knows what life decisions he/she will make in the future? Hehehehe.

Anyway, those were just my thoughts while we were watching the film. Again Jen, don’t sweat the small stuff. Just let things flow and let things be. Everything has a purpose. You may consider both your blessings and burdens great, but in the eyes of the universe, everything is small stuff. So just keep on asking, keep on receiving and keep on blessing everything & everyone around you.  It’s all small stuff. Nothing too great that you can’t handle…. Amen.