I’ve been dreading the last phase of the MDP assessment. This is the reason why I braved the waves of La Union last weekend, just so I could have distracting thoughts and memories while waiting for my turn. Last week, the third phase began with the in-basket assessment and leaderless discussion. This week, the panel interview began. There was no escaping it. This morning, I had my panel interview with the senior executives of the System and I was so nervous. Peter, my boss and colleagues kept telling me that I would breeze it and wow them all. They had such faith in me! So that’s what I did. The moment my name was called, I inhaled deeply and lifted everything up to God… Let His will be done. Surprisingly, I was able to answer articulately, fluently, with conviction and grace. My thoughts just kept on flowing to my mouth and I enjoyed myself in the process. I was even able to make our executives laugh and have their fun too. The moment I was done, I checked my watch and believe it or not, the whole thing happened in just a span of 7-8 minutes! I was shocked! To think that the others took around 20-30 minutes. I don’t know what this means, whether it’s a good sign or not. My boss was there observing me the whole time and she seemed happy about my interview. She even texted me afterwards that I did great. So I guess that’s good enough for me. Now only time can tell. By first week of Feb, the Top 40 final candidates will be announced. I don’t know what to think anymore. For now, I’m just glad the assessment is over.
~~~oOo~~~
It was Dodgie’s birthday last Jan. 5 and it’s only now that he was able to celebrate it with us. He treated us to Guilly’s at Mall of Asia and we pigged out like there was no tomorrow from 5:30 - 10pm. Not to fret about our weight coz we were able to dance it all off during the latter part of the evening.
Around 7 pm, the fireworks started. Vangie and I went outside the restaurant to catch a closer view of the fantastic display…
~~~oOo~~~
At around 10:30 pm, Peter and I headed to the airport to pick up Papa who is coming home from the States. We’re all home now. Gotta sleep for a few hours before I meet up with my Mom in the morning to have her eyes checked by a specialist. As for Peter and Papa, they’ll be house hunting later today. Papa wants to buy one ASAP so we can transfer to a much bigger place. I’m actually quite excited! I hope things go well.
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND FOLKS!
I did have some fun last weekend even if half of me was suffering from serious anxiety and panic attacks due to the MDP…
Chin, one of our friends and blockmates in college was finally married to Riel, her long-time Pinoy boyfriend who she met in the US while studying her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Fordham University in Bronx, New York. Riel is also Rea’s cousin (our blockmate and friend from Ateneo as well). Small world huh? They looked pretty happy. They did cry while saying their vows and all I understood from her teary profession of love ( I was sitting at the back of the church then) was that Riel is Chin’s personal cook, her shoulder to cry on, her bestfriend. Awww… sweet… I wish them all the love and happiness they both deseve. I hope their marriage lasts.
It was fun being with old college friends (Jowi, Jamie, Rea, Lora, Marcelle, Anthere, Hailey, Joe, Patrick, Peachie of course and Emyr who came rather late) I felt so vibrant and happy. Although, before the food was served at the Wack-Wack Country Club in Greenhills, my temper was quite on a short fuse due to hunger. I didn’t eat anything that day coz I woke up late (got home around 5am after hanging out with Peachie and Mer at Jack’s Loft and Xocolat in Eastwood the previous night), got ready for the wedding and didn’t have any more time to grab something to eat. Thanks to Peachie who gave me some bread and banana when we picked her up at her place. I think that helped me survive the afternoon and early part of the evening.
EASTWOOD PICS LAST FRIDAY NIGHT:
Back to the wedding, here are some more pictures taken that Saturday night:
Yeah, it’s been a while since I last visited my blog. I’ve been having several bad days and I felt tired most of the time. My boss was being very difficult again and it has been draining my energy. Couple this with the pressure of my officemates to do good and pass the third phase of the MDP/Management Development Program (either that or they’re just patronizing me, I can never really know the difference), so what you have right now is a very depressed and drained Sexy Nomad.
I am going through some sort of a roller coaster of emotions this past couple of days since work resumed. I try to psyche myself into thinking that I want to fail the third level of assessment because everything that goes with it (promotion, salary increase, added responsibilities) is NOT something I would want for myself but at the same time I AM AFRAID TO FAIL because I’ve been so used to achieving all these years. I’ve always been an achiever, no matter what I did before, I’ve always excelled and gotten myself recognized. It’s like I’m a natural at it. And right now, I am suppressing that nature of mine.
Don’t hate me…
Is it so bad of me to want to be content with what I got? Is it so bad to wish for a less complicated and more simple life, where I can quietly work M-F, 8am-5pm and just simply enjoy the rest of my time by being with my loved ones and doing the things I want instead of stressing myself at work? I have a job right now that a million less privileged people would die for and I acknowledge and appreciate it. It took me a while to accept my fate at my not-so-thrilling-but-high-paying job but when I did finally accept it, that’s when things started taking a course of its own. It’s like life is telling me that I am ready to move to the next level. And I am afraid. I don’t know if I can handle it and I hate this feeling.
It’s like being back in fourth year highschool…
Remember being a highschool senior? It’s quite exciting right? You finish your finals ahead of the other levels and the rest of the month of February and March is just spent practicing for graduation day and helping out in the yearbook. I’m not sure if it’s still the way they do things now but that was how it was like during our time.
Anyway, back to my story: I was thoroughly enjoying my “no more classes no more books no more teachers dirty looks” moment when all of a sudden, our principal suddenly talked me into joining the quest for the 10 outstanding students of Cagayan de Oro City. So to make the long story short, I spent the rest of my “happy senior days” preparing for the competition. Instead of spending time with my friends and my hobbies, I was at the library studying and memorizing. It was excruciating for me. The whole time, I was doing it with a heavy heart. And to my surprise, on the day of the competition, after the final assessment, my number was called (which I didn’t even hear coz I just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible) and I won. I was one of the ten outstanding highschool students of Cagayan de Oro City. Lucky me huh? It didn’t really mean much. I didn’t even get a “congratulations” from my grandfolks (I lived with them when I was in HS). I just felt so empty deep inside. But at least it looked good on my college scholarship application at Ateneo and it most probably helped me pass UPCAT and ACET.
Anyway, my point is, I am reliving that moment again, through MDP. And I just don’t see the point of being up there in the corporate ladder if it will just make me unhappy. I love my carefree life as it is and I don’t want to change it coz for the first time in my life, I am able to fulfill my dreams and do things I wasn’t able to do before because I was always trapped in maintaining my scholarship.
My girlfriend Jaime said that I should motivate myself intrinsically. See this as an opportunity to learn new skills and better myself. Whether I pass this thing or not, being in the top 60 of the 1000 employees who took the exams is already an achievement in itself. And anyway, if I don’t pass, wouldn’t that be great still? I’d be able to keep my simple life. So there. Now, take a deep breath and relax. Tomorrow, the third level begins. Good luck to me!
Listening to:
First Cut is the Deepest by BIG MOUNTAIN
Why? Coz aside from liking reggae music so much, for some reason, this song just cuts deep into my core. And to all the things that cut deep into my being for the past year, whether in a good or bad way, know that you’ll always be inside me, helping me figure out what 2007 will bring.
~~~oOo~~~
Here are some bits and pieces of how the first day of the new year went for me:
- When the clock struck 12 midnight, we kissed and embraced each other in my family and greeted everyone a happy new year. I threw some coins, placed yellow fruits on our door (for good feng shui purposes according to my mom), jumped up and down (out of habit, I suppose, hoping that I’d get taller somehow, hehe) and ate for the nth time.
- I then watched the last few episodes of LOST. I didn’t get to finish everything though coz around 2am, I was already sleepy.
- I slept til 12nn. When I woke up, Peter was already up. He made some sandwhiches for us and continued finishing LOST. By the time we finished the whole 2nd season, I couldn’t wait to go home and buy the third season on the way, which we did!
-We dropped by Circle C along Congressional Ave. and found a lot of people milling over the pirated DVD section. Hehehe. We scrounged for what we needed but at first found the following blessings:
SMALLVILLE SEASON 6
HOUSE SEASON 3
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES SEASON 3
NIP/TUCK SEASON 4
FIREFLY THE COMPLETE SERIES
TWILIGHT ZONE SEASON 1
HAPPY FEET
And I couldn’t be any happier! Hahaha! (Ang babaw talaga ng kaligayahan ko)… until, we found LOST SEASON 3!!! YESSSSS!!!!
- We immediately went home watched the very addicting LOST SEASON 3. We only stopped when we went down for dinner.
- A little while ago, I filled out my MDP Candidate Application Form to be submitted on January 3. I’m feeling very anxious about it and I wish that this will be over soon. I just want to go back to my old carefree life and be rid of stresses.
- Lastly, I changed the look of my blog. Let me know if you like it or if the previous one looked much better. I do miss the old look (the one taken at Virgin Island, Bohol) but to welcome the new year, I thought of placing a different background from one of our trips. The one with me on top is a shot at the beach of Munting Buhangin in Nasugbu, Batangas and the background is a shot of the Tamaraw Falls in Puerto Galera. After all, I am THE sexy nomad.
P.S.
Did I tell you that Peter got me the Starbucks Planner? That’s why he’s been getting Starbucks coffee more than usual and he was also getting receipts from his friends and officemates. He figured that since I am so fond of planning trips, parties and all sorts of activities, the funky planner would come in handy. He really is so sweet! And I was really surprised! Thanks gorgeous baby! You really are the best!
Last but not the least, we were able to buy Marichit’s brand new FRAGILE THINGS by Neil Gaiman for only P500!!! She was able to get the signed copy recently so out of the goodness of her heart, she sold her other copy to Peter. Thanks so much Marichit! You just don’t know how happy you made Peter that night! Me too! Don’t worry, your pasta is on your way soon.