Depression

 Listening to:

  coz… despite everything, we are still here, against all odds.

I am depressed. It slowly and unknowingly crept into my system a week ago, while all this house hunting thing was going on. It didn’t help that I was always physically tired from work and not getting enough sleep at all. Then it just hit  me hard yesterday while I was going about my duties. I felt like collapsing, literally and figuratively. All of a sudden , I felt like I’ll never be happy in this lifetime.

What I wanted lately was to have our dream beach wedding next year. But with the housing loan going on, I just don’t think it will ever come true anymore. If it does, we might be too old already. Hmmm…it got me thinking that maybe, deep down inside,  I am also conventional just like most girls/women? That perhaps I also want what most of you want — a nice wedding, a baby, a home I can call my own?  Gosh! This is so unlike me! But I’ve been really thinking about it this past couple of weeks… (talk about peer pressure, hahaha!)

Of course, it seems exaggerated. We all have problems and mine is nothing compared to all the bad things happening all around the world. But then, it is happening TO ME so forgive me if I make such a big deal out of it. I just want to take this time to let it all out and purge. Perhaps after I finish writing this entry, I’ll get a better perspective with what’s happening and I’ll eventually feel a lot better.

Going back to my issue, there used to be a time when I was happy just playing around. I mean, like marrying Peter in sort of a rush (civil rites) before Mama (his mom) passed away, even when we were broke just because we were so much in love. Then we started traveling together with our friends with the use of the extra money we save every now and then coz we thought he’d be working abroad and we wanted to save as many happy memories as we can. Then he was offered work here in Ortigas and we couldn’t be any happier. We maintained the happy lifestyle we wanted as long as we can, while helping my family financially as well. And I was happy. I was content. Then I thought maybe we could have the wedding we’ve always been dreaming of by saving and sacrificing leisures some more.  I was really excited with the thought. When I started telling my close friends about it, I was really happy to hear some of them volunteer (Koryn, Pat, Angel as our coordinators and Lora to do the invites).

And now, THIS… the huge responsibility of owning a home. It just caught me unprepared. All the while I thought we’d wait for the Bulacan house to get sold before buying another one. But it’s Peter’s (Pa’s) money so it’s their call. Don’t get me wrong. I do understand and I am totally supportive of their plans. I am thankful for their generosity. It’s just that I thought I’d have the wedding first. In the meantime, goodbye to the wedding plans and the lifestyle I got so used to living.

It’s a big change. I wish I could have it all — the house, the wedding, the baby — all in one go. But if life is leading us to a different direction then so be it.I’ve been going with the flow ever since, living a life I did not plan, but here I am trying to make the most out of it. I’ll survive. I know I will.

P.S.

I told Pa a week ago that with everything that’s happening (house buying and the MDP thing at work), maybe God is telling me that I am ready for a new chapter in my life, like things are falling into place because I AM READY FOR SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER. If ever I do get included in the Top 40 MDP Candidates who will undergo  Junior Management Training for six months, then it would be perfect for the house buying coz I’d really have no choice but to stay focused, stop my happy-go-lucky ways which in turn would help us really save money for the house payment and interior design… Hay life!

T.G.I.S.

We woke up early for a Saturday, around 6:30am just so we could be on the road by 7:30am in time to meet up with another real estate broker by 9am at NAIA parking lot. He showed us a couple of houses and townhouses both still being built and RFO (ready for occupancy) at BF Homes in Las Pinas. Our verdict? We liked it… NOT! It felt like being in a cemetery for living people! Ugh!

Carmella model

Next on our list of TO DOs for that day was a visit to the unit I liked in Muntinlupa, Alabang. Since we were already in the area, I texted my other real estate broker and he was nice enough to accommodate us. We had luch first at Festival Mall’s La Paella’s just across Starbucks. It was our first time to visit that huge mall and it actually felt like home already. I was thinking, “Wow…if I can convince Pa and Peter to get the townhouse in Alabang, we’d be living just 3 minutes away from all of this — Festival Mall, Alabang Town Center, Asian Medical Hospital, Lexington and Belleveu Hotels — from the heart of Alabang Commercial District! Yahoo!!!”.

Outside the Festival Mall ; Checking out the menu at La Paellas… 

After lunch break, we met up with Rolly (the 2nd agent) who showed Peter the units in Alabang.  The moment he saw the little village, he was already taken. Yes, the village is just a little bit bigger than where we are living right now, but it felt so peaceful. It was like being in one of the suburbs in California and when you step outside into the commercial district of Alabang, it felt like being back in the heart of Singapore. Weird huh? But nice… really nice.  So we checked out the rooms, the backyard, the balcony… and we were already thinking of how to do the interior design.

The master’s bedroom leads to the balcony… 

This is the nackyard where we plan to construct a zen garden for relaxation… 

Peter’s checking out the airwell which could serve

as a mini indoor garden as well as an air ventilation structure…

The small kitchen holds a lot of possibilities… 

Anyway, we had one more tripping to do, this time to San Pedro, Laguna. They have really pretty-looking houses out there, more like how our dream house looks like. The only downside was the distance. It’s just quite far from where I work in Pasay and farther for Peter who’s based in Ortigas. Sigh. The houses there were really beautiful …

Athena model 

Some houses come furnished… 

Daphne model 

 I loved their dining area!

Tired from all the tripping, we still had one more errand to do — have my braces adjusted by my orthodontist at St. Luke’s.  We got there by 6pm and I was finished by 8pm. Whew! Hungry, we found a nice-looking fine dining place in Tomas Morato called Osteria 88. At first the guard didn’t allow us to park, thinking we won’t be dining there. I wondered why? Was it because we looked too casual for the restaurant? Did he think we couldn’t afford the place? (Come to think of it, we spent P1,200.00 just for a simple dinner of french onion soup, pasta alfredo and ostrich steak). We really had fun, just being together as husband and wife, no friends around, just the two of us. Don’t get me wrong. I love our friends and I miss them a lot. It’s just that sometimes, I do crave alone time with Peter, only with Peter. Not just to make tender love or have pounding sex  with him but to just be alone together on a date…

The bread and  spicy vegetable mix were compliments of Osteria 88…

Pasta Alfredo 

Ostrich Steak with Spinach and Pork Reduction

So, that was my Saturday folks! How was yours?  

Couch Potato

I want to relax for a while and stop myself from getting too excited about our house hunting adventure. Yes it’s fun, but it’s also tiring and stressful. There are just too many nice houses out there and I am getting too overwhelmed. Time to take mini breaks as much as I can… Below are the flicks I’ve seen every free moment I got and I just want to share them with you. You’ve probably seen all of them  but here’s my take on these movies/series:

 ~~~oOo~~~

Lost Season 3

The plot is just getting more exciting in Season 3. I now know who the “others” really are but the reasons why they do what they do  are still uncertain to me. Why is there an isolated island full of experiments and mysteries? How did the “others” get there? Why are they torturing the plane crash survivors? Season 3 is still currently shown in the US so I was only able to watch up to episode 10. All I can say is that I am so f–k–g  bitin!

Smallville Season 6

Previously, Zod was released in Lex’s body from the Phantom Zone because Clark Kent couldn’t get the job done. So Clark was sent to the Phantom Zone instead. And that’s how Season 5 ended. Nice one huh? So the moment I got hold of Season 6, I didn’t wait long before I watched and finished the whole thing. All I can say is that Clark has never tasted so yummy in my eyes, Green Arrow is so gorgeous and Lex’s character is getting more and more Luthor-like. Although I knew he and Lana would eventually end up together… Other new villains were also introduced and they’re all unbelievable! I can’t wait to watch Season 7!

Twilight Zone Season 1

It is not the same twilight zone I’ve watched when I was a little kid but the stories and plots have the same twisted sense to it. If you’re craving for something boggling and suspenseful, this is the series to watch.It will definitely take your mind off all your mundane worries and transport you to the surreal world of… THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

 Little Miss Sunshine

This is one depressing movie that I’d hate to watch again. It’s just a series of mishaps after another and I can’t believe this could happen in real life. For others, it would seem quite funny — how Greg Kinnear’s character ended up to be such a loser, while his daughter Olive (Abigail Breslin) teaches them a thing or two about what matters most in life. The portrayal of characters are just so real, passionate and intense that I wouldn’t want to go through that all over again.

Hunted House

 Listening to:

 SAILING (coz right now, I feel like life is sailing me towards where I should be…) 

~~~oOo~~~ 

Ok, before I say anything else, can I just tell you guys “I AM SO TIRED!!!” My legs are killing me, my brain is overloaded with all sorts of computations, house designs, furnishing details and personal considerations, I just want to sleep it all off. Haaaayyyy!

This is the bedroom of the Althea model (furnished) 

During the earlier part of our marriage, Peter and I did some house hunting already. We’d visited sites and checked out certain properties and that was it. We’d never really gone to the next stage which is the buying part because, well… we didn’t have the money then and we were just doing it for fun. But now, it’s different. This is the real deal. We’re really scouting for a place we can call our own. Thanks to Pa who will finance everything for us. I’m thinking, I’ll just take care of all the furnishings and interior design. So no more gimmicks, no more parties, no more travels FOR NOW…. for the next five years at the most. Huhuhu. 

Living and Dining Rooms of the Althea Model 

On the other hand, we are all excited. This is a big responsibility to take and it requires major financial discipline on our part to be able to complete all the payments and eventually own our house. It would help a lot if we could sell our house in Bulacan and use the money for the new house. Hmmm… *note to self: contact the agent I met this afternoon for this* 

Mandaluyong House 

Last Saturday, Peter and Pa went to Mandaluyong and checked out a 4-storey house and lot with 3 bedrooms, 2 attics, 4 bathrooms, garage and indoor small garden. The rooms are already furnished with built-in cabinets, and lamps and the kitchen also has built-in stove and shelves. It’s originally priced at P4.5M but they were able to bring down the price to P4.2M. When I saw the pictures, I got interested. It looked nice, clean and fantastic for the three of us. Plus there will be enough room for all my clothes, bags and shoes! However, as the week progressed, I started getting worried about the number of stairs we’d have to climb, the fact that it doesn’t have a space for landscaping, and what if there’s fire, where do we exit? Moreover, the price is quite steep for us. 

Interior of the Mandaluyong house 

So last night, I decided to look at other options. Out of the numerous properties published and advertised online, I got interested in Primavera Homes in Muntinlupa, Alabang. I was so excited that I ended up checking out the place after work this afternoon. Good thing that the agent I talked to was very accommodating. I saw all the model houses, both inside and outside. They were all BEAUTIFUL. I was having a hard time choosing that my head began to throb. Until finally, I saw the bigger model (105 sq.m. lot area). It has a space for landscaping in front, a bigger garage (our revo would fit plus another car) which we could also turn into partial lanai or extension of the living room, a maid’s quarter, bathroom, wash area, air shaft all the way on top of the house and a big backyard. This is just the first floor. On the second floor, it has a huge master’s bedroom with its own toilet and bath, other 2 more big bedrooms, a separate toilet and bath and a balcony just outside the master’s bedroom. I really felt so at home while inside the property. I could already imagine the numerous house parties we could do there, hehehe. And it’s only priced at P2.8M! That’s a P1.4M savings!!! Not bad! Not bad at all!

This is the model I like… 

Vina went with me on my little house hunting trip. She’s very knowledgeable in feng shui and according to her, having 6 as my KUA number, the house I’m going to buy must face west for success. True enough, it is facing west. No wonder I immediately fell inlove with it.

Elah Model 

This house is not my usual dream house. For one, it’s a townhouse and not a detached type of house. But it just felt so right when I saw the place. Even in the pictures the agent sent me earlier this afternoon, I liked it already.  Tomorrow, I’ll be checking the one they visited in Mandaluyong last Saturday just so I could make a fair decision. 

Now, tired and sleepy, all I can think of is … THIS IS IT. THIS IS REAL LIFE, WITH REAL RESPONSIBILITIES AND REAL CONCERNS. GROW UP JEN and BE READY for more challenges. Your beach wedding can wait…

PS: Why does it seem like my life is always leading me somewhere I never really planned? Always.

Shangri-la Mactan, Alegre and Bantayan Island Cebu

 Listening to:

 Best Days

This is the vacation that we’ve mostly been waiting for. Not only because I’d be turning 28 at that time and that we’d be staying at 5-star hotels, but because Pa will be with us. The day we all arrived in Cebu, we headed to Shangri-la Mactan for afternoon coffee and snacks. Tito Pedro, Tita Annie (Pa’s brother and sister-in-law), Nipsy and Renault (Peter’s cousin and cousin-in-law) were with us. We stayed there the whole evening, dining at their seafood buffet by the beach. It was so gorgeous, classy and marvelous! We had such a great time! Of course, being the practical person that I am, I couldn’t help but notice that when the bill came, it amounted to something like P15,000.00 inclusive of P1,000.00 tip from Pa! And we didn’t even check-in. WOW! NALULA AKO! Hahaha!

 Shangrila Mactan 

View from the restaurant…

Me as I was about to order; Pa, Tito Pedro, Tita Anne, Nipsy, Renault and I

 
Look at all the assorted cakes from the buffet table! Forget about dieting for now…Hehehe! 

Happy together…

The next day, we headed to Bantayan Island and stayed at St. Bernard Beach Resort. It’s one of those cozy, more affordable resorts along the beaches of Bantayn Island. It is located only 15 min. walk or 5 min. by tricikad (bicycle with sidecar) from the pier. (*Reservation can be made by E-Mail: bernard@bantayan.dk or by phone +63-9179636162.)

Bantayan Island

Enjoying the amihan season along St. Bernard Beach…

Pa rested for a bit. While he was enjoying the comforts of our nipa hut accommodation, Peter and I went island hopping to Virgin and Hilantagan Islands. Since it was amihan season then, we didn’t experience the full blast of the sun. Nevertheless, the weather was still fine — cool and warm at the same time. And the water was crystal clear like that of Boracay.

Hilantagan and Virgin Islands 

  Testing the clear blue waters… 

Oh, we also had a bit of booboo during our stay at Bantayan. One day, as Peter and I were relaxing by the beach, a local approached us and told us about a certain falls in the area. Being nature lovers, we got excited! I mean, I didn’t even come across that information while researching on the internet about  the island. So I said, ok, let’s go there before heading back to mainland Cebu. We encouraged Pa to go with us. But since he just wanted to relax at the beach, it was just Peter and I who went to the nature spot. We rode a habal-habal (motorcycle) and both of us were listening for the sound of falling waters.  Weirdly, there was none. Until we reached another more posh and classy resort called the Ogtong Resort. So we went in, paid the entrance fees and asked around for the falls. The reception area pointed us to the direction of the swimming pool. There must be some sort of a misunderstanding. So I repeated : “Ate falls po, hindi swimming pool” to which the lady replied “Yes Ma’am, swimming fols po”. Nyarks!!!! The Visayan accent fooled us! The whole time, I thought theye were talking about a certain FALLS, only to realize that they were referring to the POOL. Hay naku!!!! Anyway, it was a blessing in disguise because inside their resort was a natural cave called the OGTONG CAVE. That’s what we explored instead.

Taking a dip in the waters of the Ogtong Cave…

The next day, til the 20th, we stayed at Alegre Beach Resort at Sogod, northern part of Cebu. We got ourselves an oceanview room with balcony. It was truly a first class experience, waking up to the view of the sun and the beach.. All meals were either buffet or room service a la carte. We felt like royalty! We also went sunset cruising while spotting for dolphins. In the evenings, cultural dance shows were performed. I can get used to this kind of life everyday (if not for the almost P50,000.00 fees we paid for after our stay)  I told Pa. Who knows? It might just come true…
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