Hmmm…Merry Christmas?

Ever since I was a kid, Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year…UNTIL NOW. It’s not that I hate it, but I don’t enjoy it as much as before. Now, I dodge parties like Irene’s dinner party and our office Admin. party, I’m always tired and feeling so stressed out, and I actually got sick the day they announced that I passed the second phase of the Management Development Program in the GSIS (from 1000 examinees, down to top 200 and now down to 60 candidates). Plus, I definitely don’t want to go home and be with my folks (but I have to!) and I’m feeling resentful and angry about all those bad things that my family and friends did to me. I’m being sucked in my own hell hole right now and I’m drowning in guilt, pain and sorrow. I didn’t want to be like this. I was not like this. I used to be such a saint and now I’m such a scrooge. If I was pure Catholic, I’d think I’m being possessed by the devil (or maybe I am, I don’t really know anymore). Coz who in their right minds would think of breaking up with the people they love and cherish? But I do feel that. Sometimes I’d think I wanna leave Peter, my family, my friends, live in the mountains and just be by myself. That afternoon they announced I’m in the top 60, I wanted to resign! I am insane! I know, I know. But this time, much more so.

Anyway, to hide my insanities, I TRIED to have some fun. Last Friday night, Ninette, Peachie and I went to A Veneto’s for dinner. That was some girl bonding we had and I really felt glad. Ninette is always such a darling with her stories and Peachie is always such a charm when it comes to her psychoanalyses and advices. Dinner ended at around 10:30pm. We got a cab for Ninette and Peachie & I headed home and bonded some more. It’s always uplifting to talk to Peach. I know we’re of the same age, but it’s like having an ATE as crazy as I am. 

Come Saturday, Peachie went home early and Peter & I did our errands — a visit to my orthodontist, a visit to Banawe to buy a roof rack for  the Revo  and  a visit to the  surf shop to get our  surfboard  which I named  Didi (coz it’s color  DILAW).  Woohoo!!!  Peter was ecstatic and I was sooo happy!  At last, we now have OUR OWN!  Although our plan of going to Zambales tomorrow is still hanging coz part of me just wants to stay home and rest. Anyway, now that we have our own surfboard, we can just go to Zambales or La Union any time we want to. Yahoo!!!!

Last night, Peachie and I joined Peter in their TMB (The Man Blog) Dinner Party. It was held at Danny’s Grill along Disodado Macapagal (the same place where me and my officemates celebrated MDP last month and played videoke  all night). The food was great and the band was ok (they played 90’s songs and they were funny with their green jokes). 

But still, we were bored half the time! It’s just a fact that boys will always be boys and us girls will always be girls (one of the reasons why I rarely if not never read their site even if I do love the men behind it. ) Their sense of humor is just not my cup of tea and so together with Ella and Peach, we looked for a coffee place instead and took our dose of caffeine to knock us back to sanity.  The coffee place was called Our Father’s Coffee (OFC) and it looked so tacky! It felt like being in a lounge, waiting for a room in Soho hotel. Hahaha! Good thing their coffee was cheap and tasted so yummy. After like an hour or two, the three of us headed back to Danny’s. We noticed they all tranfered outside. Then I heard how the band was playing boring songs with matching “comedy bar” scripts. Hahaha! So the night ended rather very late. After a while, I kind of got the hang of it and started to enjoy the boys’ company. Too bad, just when I was enjoying myself, people were already saying goodbye. Oh well.  That’s life!

Now, I’m just at home, doing my stuff, dreading the moment when I have to go home to my folks. I wonder what excuse I can come up with to avoid seeing them. Sigh. I know I’ll get stressed and depressed. I guess I just have to face it… If not now, soon.

P.S. I’m thinking of starting another blog. It will be the alter ego of the sexy nomad. I can cuss and  rant all I want and I won’t have to care about what others will say. There, I’d put all my uncensored thoughts and feelings and I wouldn’t have to ask Peter for guidance. It will just be ALL ME, PURE ME. Bwahahahaha! (Geesh. I’m so full of angst. Fuck.) ;-p